Do you still think that way about me now?

So. Trying to be more sociable and (re)connect with folk, be more proactive about my life...

I’m terrified.

I am not the most socially savvy of people. I am the one who will sit silently in between two different conversations and be part of neither. I compartmentalise my life e.g. the people from work don’t appear in my life outside of work and if I do meet them outside of work, I find it awkward and embarrassing and I can’t get away fast enough, particularly if they meet me alongside people I know from a different compartment of my life. I don’t know what I’m doing.

The above has been inspired by my discovery of “the island game” in a book. I don’t know if anyone has ever heard about this before or played it; it sounds like the kind of thing people would do at sleepovers. Anyway, not gonna describe the game itself here but let’s just say my answers were depressingly on-the-nose... And it just got me thinking

Ugh, I've been horribly undisciplined about drawing these last three, four weeks. TV, reading, writing and general laziness got in the way. All I have for week 52 so far is this:




Hair practice! When I initially finished this, I wasn't happy with it but looking at it now, it's much better than I thought :)

I am determined to finish this diary!

I went on-line around 2pm, intending to answer some emails, book some flights, maybe buy a book I've been thinking about, then come off.

By 5pm, I had only achieved the first and had spent the rest of my time browsing art on Tumblr and DeviantArt.

I have a big discipline problem when going on-line. For me, the internet is usually about amusement, so my default is to search for something new and interesting to stare at for a while. Which means if I do go on intending to do something (e.g. booking flights), I frequently end up forgetting what I wanted and waste hours just trolling about, going, "ENTERTAIN ME INTERWEBZ!!"

So, I feel like I ought to post and say something...

I had forgotten how much fun trashy vampire novels can be! Although, seriously, having vampires as slaves? Ok, I can see the medical research and the military and even the titillating-entertainment-for-the-super-rich angles - but having them in our houses? As our secretaries and nannies and cooks and busboys?! Isn't that like a herd of antelope keeping a lioness around? No sense. Does this make.

Still a lot of fun, though :)

Work is the usual. I haven't had any more night-seizures but I still don't have an appointment with the neurologist. Not surprised at that, though; I suspected that it could take a while.

One big thing has been my sketching. I have fallen WAY behind: a whole month! *slaps her hand*

The other big thing is I've joined a penpal site. It was my mum's idea, inspired by a book she was reading of a woman's letters to her penpal during the 50s. I am... cautiously optimistic so far. I'm using a separate e-mail account from my usual, trying to keep any identifying info to a minimum. So far, most of the contacts have been from (alleged) men... Not sure what's with that...

... Have just spent faaaaaaaaaar too long on KnowYourMeme.com. My brain feels filthy. It has now joined TVTropes.com on the list of Internet Sites Which Rhonda Must Not Look At In The Name Of Sanity.

-_-'

It snowed overnight, and this time, it did lie. I went out this morning and built a miniature snowman. He's so cute! He's still surviving (minus one eye, which fell out), but only because I was able to move him about and get him out of the sun. It is supposed to snow more tonight, so maybe that'll save him for another day.

This week has been... bad. Not "bad" as in "I've had a terrible time," but "bad" as in "I didn't do things the way I was supposed to." Namely, I have slept in every day this week, stayed away from the university library, started work late, gave it up early, and tended to want to avoid company and get pissed off when people interrupted my stuff. (I wish someone would invent remote headphone for the tv. Then you could just put the headphones on and listen to your programme in peace, while everyone around you jabbers on.) I mean, even right now? I should probably be doing work, writing more of my PhD piece, I mean Leon wants over 25 pages for the middle of March; but here I am, on LJ again, cos I'm not gonna go out to the university in the snow and cold, and it's too late to go now anyway, and the disc I have my work on won't run on James' computer here at home, and I've got bored with the work which I was doing.

On an up side, however: ponies have FINALLY landed locally. When I say "ponies," I mean the 03 Rainbow ponies and season ponies, as well as some of the new 04 ponies (up till now, the only 03 ponies I could find were the Glitter sets and the castle/salon/shop playsets), and when I say "locally," I mean at the toyshop which is closest to my home-home, that toyshop being Walkers in Ballymoney. And on an upper side: Philip has a dentist's appointment in Ballymoney tomorrow, so I'll be taking the train to Ballymoney rather than Ballymena, and might just get the chance to go see what I want :DDDDDD

James had his visa interview on Tuesday. He says it was the shortest interview he has ever had. They asked two questions:

1. Do you intend to come home again?
2. Do you plan to deal in drugs while in America?

...They expect people to ever answer, "yes," to that last question?

But he's got his visa, so soon he shall be departing, and we shall be joined by Dee, which means we shall probably have Clive round here a lot. Now, I like Clive. He is a great guy; he knows a lot on some very esoteric subjects and he can be interesting. He just doesn't know when a topic is dead and done with. And he doesn't know when it's a good time to leave. And, to make it worse, Joanna and Pamela then have to moan about it. *rolls eyes*

[Edit: Hmm, SO not seeing how this icon means "apathetic." "Apathetic" does not conjure up images of palm beaches for me. It conjures up images of shoe-scuffing and shoulder-shrugging.]

[Edit 2: And the "bored" one is worse! People don't cry when they are bored; they're too bored to cry.]

[Edit 3: *Throws hands up at "listless"* I give up!]

I chickened out of going to salsa lessons.

Damn.