Do you still think that way about me now?

My hands are very cold right now. My bedroom is freezing.

I have been writing! Proper writing, not PhD junk! I did five pages on Thursday - I'm horribly slow cos I keep going back and adding/revising stuff - and I spent today thrashing out a storyline step by step, so now there are even more Post-it notes on the wall! I was never comfortable with the main plotline I'd taken with Company of Ravens; I'd saddled myself with a lot of inner-city grit and violence which a country girl like me knows precisely zilch about. So I've switched over to another strand of characters, who were originally going to be introduced much later, and I'm working through events from their side. I'm much more comfortable with this one. But again with the slowness; I'm probably at mid-chapter two material at the minute.

I'd like to salvage some of the original way it was going but I'm not sure how well the two would sit together. The new storyline features people who know all about vampires etc. while the original direction is from the point of view of people who don't have a clue. So one's giving away what the other is trying to hide. Plus (and I'm here going purely on the five pages from Thursday) the new storyline has a lighter tone to it which sits awkwardly with what was going on with the original plot. That's what I think, anyway; I could be being paranoid because I was still unhappy about working with the original plot.

I'd like to ask you guys what you think except that five pages isn't much to go on, and having worked through the new plot, there are now adjustments I wanna make. Oh the dilemmas!

In other news, the reason I've started back on the novel is that my PhD revision has finished... for now. I've revised every chapter now and the pertinent ones are in my internal examiner's hands at the minute to check that, at the very least, I'm on the right track. Also my Sims addiction is continuing in fits and starts. Creating Sims is giving me ideas for characters in my (still very vague) realistic novel.

I'm currently reading two books concurrently: a biography of Willaim Pitt the Younger (I have a fascination for that sliding period between the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries) and a novel about a black law professor whose controversial and paranoid father has died, leaving him to deal with some mysterious "arrangements", which, at this point of the story, has led to the death of one person that we know of.

Anyway, I have talked a lot. I need to get offline and get my hands warm, and let Mum and Dad get to sleep (dialup outlet is in their bedroom). Bye!

Hi *waves sheepishly* Just a quick note to say, I'm gonna be out of circulation for a while longer. Leon has (thankfully) dropped the idea of a fourth chapter, so now I'm working frantically at making the chapters I have look as long as possible. Thank goodness footnotes are included in the word count, I say! Anyway, it's probable that you won't hear from me again until September/October time. I hope everyone is well and happy. If not - *hugs* Love you all, Rhonda.

Mum and Dad are "discussing" changing Dad's car. Hence, you must forgive any bitsiness or non-properly composed part of this post, cos it's hard to write a nice little interconnected spiel when you're eavesdropping on your parents XD

ANYWAY, the first draft of my final chapter is COMPLETE. I finished it on Tuesday last week but didn't have time to tell you guys cos of... various stuff. Anyway. It wasn't as exciting an accomplishment as finishing the first draft of my second chapter, because the second chapter was HELL INCARNATE and this last chapter was a relatively painfree doddle. I say "relatively", cos the Tale of Two Cities stuff was hard and I'm still not convinced about it. Besides, finishing the last chapter means I now start revising my intro and tweaking the two previous chapters, which means entirely re-orienting all my thought processes. My thought processes do not wish to be re-oriented; they're having a very pleasant time where they are, thank you.

On top of that, I've gone and got addicted to The Sims 2. Bad move. Very bad move. I'm still only designing my own neighbourhood but it's eating up my brain. I wake up in the morning with construction plans boiling over in my head. *bangs head on desk* No, Rhonda! You can't afford to be obsessed with anything other than television and the thesis. Ok, television, the thesis and comic books.

This current chapter is going so, so well. After the horror of my second chapter, I was so afraid I would be wading through another pile of crap to get this one done, but I'm progressing really well. I have all the crappy, general introduction stuff done, I have FINISHED with Derrida (yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!!!), and I have two months in which to get down to the actual analysising of Mr Dickens: one month for Hard Times, one month for A Tale of Two Cities. So this weekend, I'm gonna relax, select one of those books I haven't read yet, possibly the one on Catherine de Medici.

I'm gonna apply for teaching assistant next year as well. Something to tide me over once the PhD is done. However, according to the form it was supposed to be in on Friday. But they didn't email it to me till the Thursday!!! I'm gonna send it in late anyway. They're always looking for help teaching. And if I'm not meant to do it, I'm not meant to do it.

Just spent far too long reading my friends page *drops dead* Yeesh, you people have too much happening in your lives! Why can't you be boring like me?? :P And worse, there's piles of memes and quizzes. I haven't felt like doing any in a long time, but I'm sorely tempted today... However, I also need to get some work done cos I took yesterday off to read the March issue of SFX (I'm loving being a subscriber! So much easier than staking out Eason's each month, and it's such a thrill to get a package in the post. The only thing is, I'm not so fussed about the no-bylines covers :/ They look so... incomplete. Dull. I want bylines dammit!). I also have to meet Mark to give him a pile of socks he wanted, and I'm not gonna get as long a day up here as I thought; I was gonna meet up with LJ and Ruth to see Walk the Line but that's been cancelled due to illness, hair cuts and boyfriend-visiting. Which reminds me, have to message Dad and let him know I'll be home on the 5 o'clock train.

However, going home early means I can watch Olympic Men's figure skating Free Programme on BBC Interactive *drools over the costumes* I was watching the Short Programme and reading SFX during the marking when it occurred to me that figure skating costumes are rather like superhero ones: brightly coloured, made of spandex and completely impractical *imagines Batman trying to do a triple lutz* *breaks brain*

Also on tonight, Hotel Babylon, which makes up for me always forgetting that Las Vegas is on Sky3 at 8pm on Saturdays. The two shows have pretty similar setups: ensemble cast of staff in a luxury institution, looking to satisfy every wish (at a price, of course) of the obscenely rich people who come there. Las Vegas probably has the prettier cast and more exciting setting, but Hotel Babylon has Dexter Fletcher, who is unbelievably cute and has the best voice ever :)

Sorry for talking about TV so much, but honestly, the shows I watch make up about a third of my life. Another third is PhD work, comic books gets a sixth and everything else gets lumped together in the last slice of pie chart.

The PhD research is going well, although I do have to read more Derrida *bangs head off the wall* I'm currently reading The Mysteries of Paris and London by Richard Maxwell, which is really enjoyable.

Has anyone here read Jacques Derrida's Of Grammatology before? If so, could you give me the York Notes version of it? Cos I don't have the least clue what he's slabbering about >.< His arguments don't join up and he starts using words without having explained what he means by them. Like "trace": he just starts using the word "trace" but doesn't tell us what he means by it. Or "writing": he talks about writing "in the narrow sense" but doesn't explain what the widened sense is. Of course if he was here, he'd probably say that that was the point. And people have built careers and published books, explaining what Derrida's terms mean.

I hate philosophers. More especially, I hate French philosophers. And linguists. Saussure, I hate you.

---

In amusing news, my little sister has to do a Powerpoint slide show for her ITC class and she's decided to do it on Batman *is amused*

( And quizzes nicked from Sparky )

I've been out of the loop for a while. I did manage to nab Leon after that seminar thing and we arranged to meet Thursday, but he wanted me to bring everything that I had written so far, including a bibliography. The last time I wrote my biblio was two years ago, so I was frantically trying to get it together all week, plus expanding on my introduction. Anyway, we met (not on time though; he didn't realise he wouldn't have a car and had to bike in), we talked and he seemed happy enough with my idea of three chapters plus intro and afterword/conclusion.

My final tutorials went really well (except for the Monday one, where I made the mistake of trying to teach). I brought in chocolate, fizzy drinks and wine, and just relaxed with them. Hmm, wine. For cheap stuff, it was very tasty.

Then, Saturday night, it was my cousin Ann's hen party. All I knew was I had to turn up at the big fish statue on the Lagan Lookout.

We were on a boat! Joanna (ex-housemate) and Linda (Ann's sister) had hired the tour boat and we sailed up and down the Lagan, eating and drinking to our hearts' content. And such a spread!! Red pepper and sundried tomato canapes, honey and mustard cocktail sausages, cajun chicken mini wraps, melba toast, Greek salad, half a dozen different kinds of cheese, cashews, chicken and peach sandwiches, babycorn and carrots for dipping... And then for dessert, there were mince pies, iced buns, brandy snaps, chopped fruits, pavlova and chocolate log. Joanna and Linda did it all. Best. Food. Ever. Afterwards, we went back to Linda and Joanna's and had champagne and tea. It was brilliant. Hiring the boat was a great idea because it felt really private. And I impressed everyone with my knowledge of Christmas song lyrics. *smug*

I'm going home on Wednesday for Christmas. I'll try and get online on Christmas Day to send you all a Christmas message, but if I don't, then have a great time, eat loads, get super presents and I'll see you in the New Year.

I don't like this week. Even though this is the week in which I (FINALLY) finished my revision of chapter deux of The Thesis Which Eats My Sanity, and therefore should be cause for rejoicing, I still don't like it, because I'm so tired because I now work on my stuff in the evenings as well, I have a horrible taste in my mouth, I didn't get to go down town like I'd hoped, and I feel like a big greasy fat boil who's getting greasier and fatter every second (which I know I'm not, but that's what I feel like).

Therefore, let's do something cheerful!

"If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want -- good or bad -- BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you."

To my supervisor: well, a lot of help you turned out to be. Just sending me straight to the official information which confused me in the first place >:8 Maybe the official people can tell me something useful.

Marzi's noisy neighbours reminded me: they're currently remodelling the back of the students' union here (Guthrie is behind it and of course, I get a room at the back of Guthrie) and last night, they had an engine running and running and running!! After 11 o'clock at night!!! And I've lost one of my earplugs and can't find it anywhere, and I need at least one of my windows open at night so I don't smother (my radiators are off, but you can't turn off the hot water pipes which feed the radiators and run around two sides of my room) >:8

This is a day for >:8 faces.

A couple of good things: I got Julie's mobile number, which I've been wanting, and she told me about some conference in Derry in a few weeks from now which she and Michael are going to, and she asked me along :) It's about the making of the book. It sounds interesting, if not at all relevant to my thesis, but hey! It's a trip away from Belfast, it's something for the ol' CV, and for once I'll be going with people I know instead of on my own.

I feel like I ought to do some writing today. Yet I also feel like I haven't done enough research to do the writing. Of course, this could just be my subconscious's way of rationalising my urge to avoid the actual physical revision of my chapter.

This chapter has already taken *thinks* eight months. Yeah. I started work on it (research) in January, so eight months. And it's still not done. And I still have two more chapters to do. This is turning into the PhD that lasts FOREVER!!

I'm not sure how doctorates work in the US, but round here, they're supposed to take 3 years and there's a lot of pressure to keep it within that time limit. I'll be going into my fourth year in October, and if it continues like this, I can see it taking five years.

They must have turned the volume way, way down yesterday at ViTal, cos I heard nothing.

Swimming hasn't been going so well this week. I haven't been able to get into the rhythm of it. I think it's cos I'm annoyed at the other swimmers being able to beat me. Yes, I know it's not a race, and I've never been a fit person, but I do feel discouraged when someone doing the same stroke as me who starts off behind manages to pass me with ease. Then if I try to speed up, I get tired and start worrying about cramping, so I slow down or my breathing goes out of sync, and the rhythm collapses.

Debating whether to go and buy my comics now, or head down at four. I'm leaning towards the former. See? Plain ol' avoidance.

[Edit]: Oh yeah, and I hate Queen's library at the minute. They lose everything! There's three books I want a look at. The catalogue says they're in, but are they on the shelf? Noooo, they're lost! And they never keep anything in the correct order. I've had to rearrange whole stacks myself in order to find what I wanted. That's not my job *fumes*