Do you still think that way about me now?

TL; DR: I am not dead. My place of work is closing and I am stressed. Also, I don't come on the internet much, 'cos reasons.

( The longer version )

I need to go; supper's ready.

This is not finished...




(Also, I know this looks a lot like Skinner Sweet from American Vampire, but it's not. Ok? Apologies to Scott Snyder and Rafael Albuquerque, nonetheless.)

Our iPad is cursed. ( Excuses, excuses )

This is why I haven't been commenting or posting or otherwise in touch. So's you know.

I was going to talk about Prague but it seems so long ago now. Thoughts boil down to:

- Czechs seriously need to learn how to signpost better.
- Google Maps is awesome - we would never have found our way around without its guidance on the public transport system.
- Said public transport system is also awesome and stunningly cheap. You can buy a ticket that lasts three days and covers travel by the metro, trams and buses.
- It's a very relaxed city. The crowds are just as thick as they are in London but no one seems to be in a rush or like you're getting in their way.
- It is also kinda skeazy. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of very pretty buildings around, all cream walls and red tile roofs. But right next door, you'll find one in obvious disrepair or walls scrawled with graffiti. I've never noticed so much graffiti in any other city before, not even in London. There are also some brutal-looking blocks left over from Communism, which really jar with the Art Nouveau influences elsewhere.
- The souvenir shops sell cannabis lollipops and novelty condoms, which I thought was very odd, until Saturday night came around and we saw all the stag parties. Light bulb!
- Amber and garnet jewellery is everywhere.
- Czechs love love love their meat.

Going to see my sister Sharon in Boston - that's the Boston in England, everybody, sorry - the week after next and looking forward to it soooooo much.

As mentioned earlier, I have fallen badly behind in my doodle diary. I've only completed the weeks of 15-21 and 22-28 September; October is still blank. This was partly down to un-inspiration (is that a word? that should be a word) and partly to laziness (I let myself get distracted by other things - largely TV).

Week 38:




I'm rather proud of my portrait of Ato Essandoh; it actually looks like him. Still have an issue with zombie eyes when I'm drawing from reference, though :/ As for the second half: trying to explain the concept of love to a woman who's only known sex and slavery is difficult. The title originally went on, "...they only belong to you and you to them," but it was long and awkward and I wasn't happy with it so blah.

Now week 39, I'm splitting in two, because Rhonda actually drew something NSFW! Shock, horror, I know!! Well, not that much shock or horror, it's pretty tame...

Anyway, the SFW half first, for those of you with delicate sensibilities or who are surrounded by folk with delicate sensibilities:




Just a bunch of quite uninteresting studies.

Aaaaand the NSFW half:( The children! Won't someone please think of the children! )

And for those of you who wish to see the two halves together, follow the clicky link at your peril.

I'm skipping posting this week; I will also miss next week as it's my brother's fiancee's hen party next weekend. So I'll see you back here in a fortnight's time. :)

In 2013, I...

- turned 33.

- asked a lot of mysterious and random questions of my LiveJournal friends, as I fact-checked elements of a story.

- got slooooowly back in touch with Ruth, Lesley and LJ, my old university friends, in an attempt to make human contact outside of work.

- discovered the time-wasting potential of TrendHunter.com...

- ... and via the above, discovered the joys of mash-up fan art by Amy Mebberson, Karen Hallion and Hyung86.

- spent more money than I ought to in The Works.

- realised that I need to put a time limit on how long I write, because spending too long leaves me grumpy and depressed. On that basis, I made a deal with Mum to stop her nagging me about writing, but she has recently started again...

- tidied my wardrobe (well, most of it).

- went on holiday to Jersey and learned that four-star hotel menus are not all that.

- got new bosses at work and watched an already-bad situation get worse, ugh.

- and as a result of the above, got more and more cynical and sharp-tongued.

- got rid of the task of clerking the Coleraine family courts!... then got it back again, thanks to said new bosses >.<

- got obsessed with paint colour names and colouring-in books.

- read a lot (but then, I do that every year).

- re-started using my local library, although most of the time I borrow books with absolutely no intention of reading them. *guilty look*

- bought a re-useable calendar of "calming thoughts" and promptly started to disagree with them.

- watched Strictly Come Dancing for the first time and loved it. My only quibble is that it's on too early in the evening, which leaves you scrabbling to find something to watch from 8 o'clock on...

- watched "The Day of the Doctor" on 23 November and fell in love with Doctor Who again (I had drifted away from the show following a... family incident which had been started by this episode).

- started listening to my pop and rock CDs again, after several years of only playing instrumental and classical music. I blame the pop radio station which my workmates tune into (and which I can't stand).

- applied for two new jobs and a transfer... didn't get any of them.

- got a bonus woohoo!

- gave up on taking packed lunches to work.

- did NOT join any dating websites... but thought about it. A lot.

- made a necklace.

- bought the same style of shoes as I had last year.

- wrote in pink.

- FINALLY got a passport. And still haven't used it.

- err, downloaded spyware like an idiot >.< Luckily in the middle of doing so, I mentioned what I was doing to my brother, so he got straight on to removing it.

- wrote this list.

So... I haven't been on here in years. My own fault. I've had several adventures in the meantime, but I would like to tell them with pictures and all my pictures are currently on the other computer.

*sigh* I promised Mum I would do some writing. Since that promise, I have (in no particular order): gone for a walk, had lunch, tidied the kitchen, been guilt-tripped by my brother, put the dogs outside, brought the dogs inside, fiddled with a job application as a consequence of aforementioned guilt-trip, fiddled with my hair, and come on Livejournal. No writing. If people paid for procrastination, I'd be rich.

However, I comfort myself with the thought that I really, really, really, really needed to put on an appearance around here. It had to be done! Otherwise, people might think that I'm dead D: or dying D: or something equally terrible to keep me from communicating, when it's just a combination of having nothing to say and - well, of procrastination.

Teddy, I'm so pleased to hear your good news - I hope the two of you have a happy life together.

EDP, your photos are awesome as ever. The photos of the bees in particular look like stills from a wildlife documentary, very professional!

Sparky, I say we burn Authorhouse on a big damn bonfire.

Nefermoon, the tattoo looks amazing!

Everybody and his dog seems to have a Halloween Something. I love the mask look.

Daisy, the treehouse looks soooooo cute!

Sorry, Dava, I would have been reading KT, but this last month, I've been running between two different places for work, and lunch has become all about the eating rather than eating-and-reading-webcomics. I agree about the zombie thing; maybe they're different species within the same genus? *struggling to remember her GCSE biology*

And to everyone else, hugs and good wishes :)

Whyyyy do you huuurt? I haven't done anything to you! Why can't you behave yourselves like normal people's ankles do? >.<

I hate that I have to go down a flight of stairs to get to the toilet. It's fine during the day, but it's during the night and in the morning I'm worried about. My ankles never feel strong when I wake up from sleep. I have this horrible fear that I'm going to pitch head first over the bannister some day.

On the PhD front, I'm working on my vision chapter now. I expect that I shall be spotting and over-analysing vision references everywhere for the next while. It certainly happened when I was working on fortune. I've got six pages at the minute. That doesn't sound like much, but I spend a lot of time reconsidering, restructuring, adding in and taking away from my arguments as I go along, so it sure feels like a lot. I'm not panicked... yet. That situation may change when I meet Leon on Monday. What does alarm me at the minute is the work for the next two chapters after that: instruction and mystery. I haven't done any reading or research for either. I'm doing my reading for vision at the same time I'm writing the chapter - well, ok, not exactly the same time, I gave myself January to read and started writing just this week. And then I think, I've got a paper to give, a research trip to organise, a letter to send to get my funding extended, the vision chapter to write AND polish until no one can argue with it (consider that the fortune chapter is 43 pages long with plates and 38 pages without, and took me most of last year to get right), a form to send in for becoming a teaching assistant next academic year, and ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING ON LJ I SHOULD BE WORKING ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! *collapses*

... Of course, none of that means that I do get off LJ and do some work, it just means that I complain on LJ about the work I have to done all the more. Ah, the fickle ways of the human mind! Somehow it all feels doable while you're procrastinating. It's when you actually go to do it that it becomes impossible. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere. I think the lesson is to procrastinate more yay!

It snowed overnight, and this time, it did lie. I went out this morning and built a miniature snowman. He's so cute! He's still surviving (minus one eye, which fell out), but only because I was able to move him about and get him out of the sun. It is supposed to snow more tonight, so maybe that'll save him for another day.

This week has been... bad. Not "bad" as in "I've had a terrible time," but "bad" as in "I didn't do things the way I was supposed to." Namely, I have slept in every day this week, stayed away from the university library, started work late, gave it up early, and tended to want to avoid company and get pissed off when people interrupted my stuff. (I wish someone would invent remote headphone for the tv. Then you could just put the headphones on and listen to your programme in peace, while everyone around you jabbers on.) I mean, even right now? I should probably be doing work, writing more of my PhD piece, I mean Leon wants over 25 pages for the middle of March; but here I am, on LJ again, cos I'm not gonna go out to the university in the snow and cold, and it's too late to go now anyway, and the disc I have my work on won't run on James' computer here at home, and I've got bored with the work which I was doing.

On an up side, however: ponies have FINALLY landed locally. When I say "ponies," I mean the 03 Rainbow ponies and season ponies, as well as some of the new 04 ponies (up till now, the only 03 ponies I could find were the Glitter sets and the castle/salon/shop playsets), and when I say "locally," I mean at the toyshop which is closest to my home-home, that toyshop being Walkers in Ballymoney. And on an upper side: Philip has a dentist's appointment in Ballymoney tomorrow, so I'll be taking the train to Ballymoney rather than Ballymena, and might just get the chance to go see what I want :DDDDDD

James had his visa interview on Tuesday. He says it was the shortest interview he has ever had. They asked two questions:

1. Do you intend to come home again?
2. Do you plan to deal in drugs while in America?

...They expect people to ever answer, "yes," to that last question?

But he's got his visa, so soon he shall be departing, and we shall be joined by Dee, which means we shall probably have Clive round here a lot. Now, I like Clive. He is a great guy; he knows a lot on some very esoteric subjects and he can be interesting. He just doesn't know when a topic is dead and done with. And he doesn't know when it's a good time to leave. And, to make it worse, Joanna and Pamela then have to moan about it. *rolls eyes*

[Edit: Hmm, SO not seeing how this icon means "apathetic." "Apathetic" does not conjure up images of palm beaches for me. It conjures up images of shoe-scuffing and shoulder-shrugging.]

[Edit 2: And the "bored" one is worse! People don't cry when they are bored; they're too bored to cry.]

[Edit 3: *Throws hands up at "listless"* I give up!]

Owie owie owie owie owie owie owie!

Guess who sprained her ankle? ;.;

You know, you'd think, living in a city, that the council would salt the pavements.

Ohhhh no. No, nobody would do something as sensible or considerate as that.

I was very very lucky though. (A), I went down very close to the house, so I didn't have far to limp. (B), there were two girls passing when I fell and they were very nice and supported me back home. (C), Joanna knew first aid and was able to figure out that no, I hadn't broken anything; which was good because we later learned that today is fracture clinic day, so we'd never have got near X-ray anyway. And (D), it was Linda's day off. I knew having an emergency nurse in the family would pay off ^.^

But of course today would be the day that I receive notice that I've got an overdue library book which I haven't actually read yet >.< And it's on inter-library loan so I can't just phone up and ask for an extension.

So, anyway, got my ankle in a tubigrip, got instructions to make sure I walk on the foot to keep the ligaments strong, got painkillers by my side, and Best of All, a cast-iron excuse to avoid going to that PhD meeting where I might have to explain to my supervisor that I haven't written anything more since Christmas. >:6 I am so lazy and unmotivated. And then I panic that I didn't consider the whole thing properly enough, and I'm never going to be able to do all the work I need, and will just let everybody down, especially my supervisor, and even more especially the grants body who've given me all the money I need to live on >.< Unfortunately the guilt transforms into more apathy, which engenders panic, which engenders guilt, and the cycle repeats ad nauseum.

So, must go now and try to read this book today, so I can get Joanna or Pamela to return it to the library.