Do you still think that way about me now?

From my Forgotten English calendar:

"ANTEPENULTIMATE: pertaining to the last syllable but two."

How useful a word is that! At last we have a word to refer to the thing befor the penultimate thing! *snugs antepenultimate*

I filled out my room inventory form last night and I decided to take the piss with it. I mean, when your only instructions are "Please complete accuratley (sic) and return to Reception", and they then list things like "Door Number Plate", "Walls" and "Ceiling", they're kinda asking for it. I mean, who puts "Walls" and "Ceiling" on a room inventory? What do they want to know, that they're there?!? There wouldn't be a room to inventory if they weren't!

I wanted to scan it and show it to you guys if I could before I decided to send it, but the Elmwood Building is currently being used for registration so I couldn't get hold of a scanner. Poot.

I was having some profound thoughts this morning, but they've gone now. They were inspired by reading this month's "Vacuum". "The Vacuum" is a free, local newspaper-type thing which you can pick up in cafes and libraries around here. It's published either every month or every two months. Each issue they pick a different theme and print articles around that theme (although there are a few "regular feature" bits which don't obey this rule); this month's issue is centred on sport and has articles in it about George Best as the first football media celebrity, the Irish cricket team, a review of Belfast's public swimming pools, and several satires suggesting that sectarian riots and punishment beatings should be made Northern Ireland's national sport.

"The Vacuum" likes to think it's clever, trendy, artistic, liberal, satirical and cutting-edge. I find it amusing and annoying in equal measure. Take for instance, the whole "Sorry" thing. "The Vacuum" published two issues one month: one on God, the other on Satan. Of course, some people got offended by this. Me, I think I remember reading some of the God issue; not all, cos I knew what it would be like. I disagreed with what I did read, but since I'm the one decided to pick it up in the first place, I didn't feel offended. Anyway, it went all the way to the Belfast City Council, courtesy of one Mr Sammy Wilson (probably best known around here for ( probably TMI )), and the Council demanded an apology and threatened to withdraw the arts funding they'd been given. In response, "The Vacuum" hired a big grey bus, hung it with banners saying "Sorry" and drove around Belfast, handing out leaflets and stencilling the word "Sorry" on the pavement (some of them are still there, around the traffic lights in front of Queen's), then published a "Sorry" issue, musing on themes of apologising and forgiveness. They reckoned they were being oh-so-clever-and-ironic; I just wanted to avoid them. And the worst part is, the whole farce is still on-going; "The Vacuum" is taking the City Council to the High Court, claiming that they were trying to censor them by taking away the arts funding. There's a notice in this month's issue calling on "all members of the Artistic (note the capital A) community who feel they are being suppressed by this regime" to turn up at the courthouse -_-'

So you see, equal parts amusing and annoying. This month's issue was largely amusing, though (unlike the previous issue, which was on the topic of culture and way too pretentious and dull).

[Edit: Wait, hang on, it's Dava's birthday?! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVA!]

Hmm, that tell-me-a-song meme has taken over my friends page :/ And I don't like it because I can never think of any answers.

My digestive system doesn't like me this week. :6

More from my forgotten English calender:

Today is the birthday of Charles Lindbergh (1902-74), pioneering American aviator who was dubbed the Lone Eagle. In May 1927 he became the first person to fly nonstop and solo from New York to Paris, in his specially built monoplane the Spirit of St Louis. On his way home afterwards he stopped in several countries, the last one being England. At the invitation of George V he visited Buckingham Palace, where the king asked him many questions about his long flight, including one he felt could only be asked in private: "Sir, how did you pee?"

And from the next page, which covers both Saturday and Sunday (comments by me are in square brackets):

Birthday of Eric Honeywood [that is a cool middle name] Patridge (1894-1979) [they don't say whether it was the 5th or the 6th that was his birthday], noted New Zealand-born lexicographer, who often focused on slang and word "abusage," as he liked to call it. Along with verbs that had been converted into legitimate-sounding nouns through the application of the suffix -age, for example wreckage, leakage, and cleavage, he cited nouns that had received artificial prestige via that appendage, sucah as parentage, signage, and Shakespeare's baggage [I have heard it said that Shakespeare invented two thirds of the English language]. But some now ludicrous-sounding barbarisms had already fallen by the wayside, including eatage, fruitage, vagabondage, dumpage, and floatage. Other obsolete examples include rivage (a river bank), umpirage (an umpire's power), concubinage and whorage (dens of ill-repute) [XD I love the way they call them "dens of ill-repute." Yeah, that'll be a brothel then, right?], imposturage (an imposter's actions), teacherage [teacherage!!] (a home for teachers), stumpage (logging rights), flobbage [FLOBBAGE!!!!] (phlegm), lactage (dairy products), pontage and muirage (taxes for building bridges and walls, respectively), and fardage (army equipment). Mercifully we English speakers were spared the likes of burglage, shrubbage, and scenage.